Dating the unDateable

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Hey loves…  It’s been quite some time since I’ve written about dating…  I really hadn’t experienced anything different from what I have written in prior post.  Today, I did want to write about dating the undateable.

I actually met someone…  I met someone whom I absolutely connected with when we first met…  In most areas he makes me smile and makes it easy for me to be vulnerable.  I really don’t follow timelines when it comes to dating however I feel like the situation with him progressed to a point where we could be exclusive.  Rather than assume that is what we would be, I asked.  I just can’t deal with being blindsided by my own assumptions because time was being spent on a consistent basis with someone but we are not on the same level as it pertains to a relationship.  We agreed to be exclusive…

Here is where it gets tricky though…  We rarely “date”…  While I am literally a social butterfly with my close circle of friends, he is quite the opposite.  I get that about him.  What gives me pause in this matter is the fact that he and I don’t date much…  I don’t want to seem like I don’t appreciate the moments we do have occasionally or that I am taking them for granted however I have a need… a desire to date…  Meaning spending time out and about sharing experiences and connecting with each other on another level.  He seems pretty comfortable with the status quo…  And while I have expressed to him my concern with our lack of “dating”, we haven’t hit the nail on the head with this concern…  I need him to understand that dating for me in not some set of rules that people set which means, dinner, movie, etc…  I am open to experience the things he is passionate about.  If he offered for me to support him in some of those things I would.  That is dating to me.  I guess I am looking for him to inject me into his life as much as I want to inject him into mine.  Maybe he isn’t ready?  I hope that I am not subconsciously pressuring him to something more serious because that is not my intent.

I just want to have moments to look forward to and share with him and only him…  I feel like he has let me in his life to a point along with every other woman he has possibly been involved with and this is it…  This will be it…  And either I have to deal with it or move on…  He has not said this to me but this is what I feel…

How do you date the undateable?  How many times do you get “rejected” at your offers to go out and do something before you decide this is not what you can tolerate?  How do you move from a stagnant point to a more active dating life without taking the essence of the personality of your partner?

I am realizing this particular weekend that I have a decision to make but it’s hard when your heart is invested… when you’ve let your guard down…  when you become vulnerable…  And sometimes it is hard to convey the thoughts in my head because I am emotionally attached.  But experience has taught me not to hold stuff in…  It has taught me to express myself, my feelings, when I feel them because if I hold the feelings in the delivery will eventually be so messy…

Dear God…  I am game…  I know this is a teaching moment…  I am just trying to come out victorious on the other side of this situation.  My prayer is that you are guiding me and I make sound decisions when it comes to this situation.

Until next time,

Shivawn…

 

One Response

  1. Hope Williams
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    Tell him how you feel. If he understands and agrees to date more fine, if not consider moving on.

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